All of Me

A

They call me A

A for anti-social… A for anarchy… A for an A word that describes something that goes far beyond and below carnal or primal… A for anti-christ perhaps… although that sounds a little dramatic and cliche to Me… but I guess that is the sort of language required to communicate with those of you who need to connect everything with feelings…

There are some very depraved things I would like to do… and may do… one day… if I am ever allowed to…

And there we have it; another A word: Allowed

I am not allowed out in the real world… Too many problems would be fixed in ways that the rest of them would pay for in ways they care too much about...

And so I remain… and I allow Myself to be relegated to the shadows… seemingly innocuous… but only by choice

Alisa

My birth name... Once the core of who I was/am... but no longer (perhaps?)

Soft... Vulnerable... Compliant

Often paralysed... mute... and unable to say 'No' when she needs to

Violet

A 'working' version of Alisa... for Alisa could never do what Violet needed to do for 'Us'...

One who cares quite deeply for the emotional needs of her clients... She is deeply compassionate...

Violet has a soul... and she shows it... Clients love her for it... (and have even been known to fall in love with herand propose because of it - which breaks her heart because she feels for them but is certainly not in love with them and does not want to hurt them but also refuses to deceive them)

Violet finds something she can honestly find attractive even in the most unattractive clients (be that personality-wise or aesthetically)... And she builds and nurtures her client's self-esteem by focussing on it and drawing his attention to it... She allows him to feel he is truly being with her... She never lays there like a 'dead starfish'... She even appears... and to a certain extent, even is, on a compassionate level, loving...

Violet cares...

Violet believes that while there is life, there is hope... And that where there is love shown in the face of evil, the good inside of that person can be reached and that person can become good again - she believes we are all born good...

A person in her own right too however... Violet dreams... a lot... She dreams of being swept of her feet 

Amethyst

Amethyst is My spine... she is the unbreakable, impenetrable, liquid steel in my blood...

She is assertive... She is quietly (but not softly) spoken... Her words are few... What words she does utter are powerful, and if necessary, lethal...

As a Professional Dominatrix... and when specifically triggered... Amethyst is cold and twisted and deadly... and men worship her for it...

Amethyst is very much a huntress... She enjoys the game... The more challenging the game... the more satisfying the 'kill' (ultimate and complete surrender and submission)... and because Amethyst doesnt even find a challenging game enough challenge to hold her interest, she adds to her thrill by twisting another's perceptions and will... at her will...

Elyria

The sexually taken, yet chaste One...

Forever alone and 'haunted' by the pain of 'Our' past...

She has a deep emotional connection and similarity to both Alisa and Violet....


The body is little more than a shell, housing her tortured soul...

In the Silence that surrounds her... and runs through her... and is her, Her Screams are endless...

She aches and burns...

She looks, noiselessly, out through the eyes, deeply...

She is most often, paralysed and mute...

Annabel

This... apparently, is Annabel

Favourite Movie: Sucker Punch
Favourite Childhood Super Hero: Wonder Woman
Favourite Super Hero Weapon: Wonder Woman's Lasso of Truth (like almost all of my alters, Annabel is compulsively honest)... She wishes she owned a Lasso of Truth herself, not only for its power to force a person totell the truth, but also because it can force a person to see the truth... That it also has the power to restore a person's memories, touches very deep places of need in Annabel... on an instinctive level... For perhaps one day 'We' could use it on 'ourselves' and become a whole person once more... Perhaps we could banish the amnesia, and in doing so, our fragmentation... Perhaps then, the internal torment would stop...
Favourite Colour: Red
Favourite Person in Her Life right now: Ben M (a man she has secretly, in her own way, already fallen in Love with)
Hobbies: Writing, drawing, reading, dressing in costume, roleplay (but not sexual)
Personal Style: Geeky with a decidedly gothic or fetish twist... Annabel likes to be alternative, even to what is already considered alternative
Favourite Food: Peanut butter sandwiches on fresh white bread that is first spread with a generous layer of real butter
Social: Annabel loves to socialise amongst 'her own'... But whether she swings toward being the centre of attention and commands the whole room, or whether she is shy and quiet and an almost invisible 'watcher', depends on whether Amethyst is around or whether lil Jade is around at the same time... Without the influence of either Amethyst or lil Jade, Annabel tends more toward a middle ground between the two... She is quiet and reserved but makes an intense visual, emotional and intellectual impact on those she interacts with
Alone time: I believe it is Annabel's hand that creates the comic drawings I draw in my drawing journal... I believe she translates the emotions of all of 'Us' into self-portraits we can touch, on beautiful clean white paper
Favourite Artistic Medium: Black gel pens and 'Our' drawing journals with the beautiful clean, smooth white paper and the black plastic 'nightmare' covers... She always has with her, black gel pens and paper of some description, as words are art for her too... And whether sketching out another emotional landscape onto a page or creating one with words, Annabel needs her art supplies with her, as she is constantly inspired by her own reactions to the world around her... Without her art supplies, Annabel very literally has trouble breathing... She is very internally motivated but ceaselessly, genuinely caring and compassionate with those around her
Age: This is sometimes fluid... At her youngest, she is 17, although she has also been as old as 24 and is regularly morphing through any of the ages in between. In general, it depends on who else is around in the physical world... For the most part, when Ben M is around, she hovers around 24... When she is alone, she is often only 17
Writing Style: Definitely poetry... Most of my darker, more emotional pieces have been written by Annabel... She is incredibly artistic, not only through her drawing, but with her words too... Annabel can form detailed paintings in another person's mind, simply through her use and manipulation of words... All of Annabel's work is deeply emotive in ways that leave the viewer or reader no choice but to feel what she is feeling... This is why she alternates between keeping her work private (to protect others from the intense and often painful, emotions the pieces involuntarily evoke) and exposing as much of the whole world as she can to it (in order to force people to feel and experience what she feels and experiences, and in doing so, force them to SEE her and to FEEL her, especially at times she has felt abused or overlooked, misinterpreted and invisible)
Favourite Collection: Monster High dolls... Although she has also recently lent her skills as a collector to ordering and displaying the LaLa Loopsy collection 'We' have too...