For a long time now, my life and experiences have been fragmented and scattered over no less than TWELVE different online journals... I am hoping here, to amalgamate all of those journals into this one site; still separate from one another but together in one place... Please be patient as I have a lot of back entries to upload from my old journals before I begin logging new entries...
I keep these journals primarily for myself... The reason I choose to publish them online, where my most private thoughts and feelings have the possibility of being discovered by others, is simple: There is a force inside of me that drives me to fly in the face of the secrecy that has kept me trapped and tortured inside of my own mind, my whole life... So, NO, I really dont care whether or not anyone ever actually reads my words or knows my thoughts and feelings... And I certainly do not crave attention being drawn to the often emotionally painful issues I face and discuss in here... What I crave is the possibility of discovery... The knowledge that these secrets are no longer mine alone to bear is ALL I am truly trying to achieve here...
If someone comes to this site and reads my words and learns from my experiences or my mistakes... or is able to relate to what I write and as a result, no longer feel so completely alone themselves... or is able to reach out to me (or is inspired to reach out to someone else) for help... then, all that I have been through, although nothing can ever make it okay, will seem just that little bit less senseless; my survival a little less meaningless and pointless...
So without further ado... Here is what you will find on this new website of mine:
- Amethyst Butterfly Dreaming - A place I hope to have the courage to openly and honestly discuss my life and experiences, regularly, once again
- A Light in the Darkness (Parts 1&2) - A journal I began on another site in an attempt to begin journalling again after abusers and a stalker had made journalling at all feel so unsafe that I had been unable to journal at all for quite some time... Part 1, people on my facebook knew about and could access... Part 2, I began writing completely in private on another site nobody knew about
- Girl Without A Name - The new WordPress address for a Windows Live Spaces journal I had been keeping for 6 years before MSN closed down
- A Darker Shade of Violet - A journal I keep where I discuss my life as 'Violet'
- Lil Jade and Butterfly - A journal where I discuss my BDSM experiences as a Submissive
- Guides to... - A page addressing the 'how to' of concepts and issues I am frequently asked about
- Drowning in Me - Poetry and Song Lyrics I have written myself
- Musical Moments - Original music I have written and performed myself
- When Words Get in the Way - My drawing journal
- Tales from a Fragmented Mind - Fiction I have written depicting an inner world, based on the premis of life as a 'Multiple'
- How Dark the Desire - Other original fiction I have written
- All of Me - Personality profiling of each Alter... This page will be constantly updated (every time I get new internal information) and is very much unpolished and under construction...
- Facebook Fragments - Bits and pieces from my facebook accounts over the years I have been away from my journals
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you are following the journals I keep and want to start reading from the beginning, you will need to go right back to the first entry logged as the entry that appears at the top of the page is the most recent one... The same is true of the other pages... New additions will appear at the top of the page...
You are, of course, welcome to have a look around in here... PLEASE also remember, however, that despite the fact these journals are being published online in this public forum, THEY ARE STILL MY PRIVATE JOURNALS, and as such I expect the same courtesies and respect afforded those in your life whose innermost thoughts and feelings you dont have access to... It is also important to note that NOTHING in these journals has been written either in the hope of, or in order to, incite any ramifications whatsoever, violent or otherwise toward anyone mentioned within the pages of these journals...
One last caution: These journals are about MY thoughts and MY feelings about MY experiences... As such, they are MY story and so not necessarily representative of the thoughts, feelings or experiences of others involved...
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