In the Beginning...
Way back in the beginning...
And as with everything, there was a beginning...
A single embryo, existed in a liquid world where days and nights passed unmarked, save the rhythmic ebb and flow of light and dark... A tranquil existence; its silence punctuated only by the beating of the mother's heart and muted noises from the outside world.
The embryo grew and developed over what felt like an eternity, but was, in fact, only months, eventually entering the world still enveloped in its gestational sack, as yet untouched by the air it would soon need to rely on for each life-giving breath.
After this normal, if not particularly gentle birth... Mother and baby would spend hours staring into one another's eyes in quiet contemplation... a blissful peace existed between the two... an understanding... a synchronicity... a forever
It was not until the collision of Worlds and the chaos and the violence that followed, that this peace would be forever shattered and the baby, born as One, just like her mother before her, would become so very many more...
But that is a story for another day
(Sunday 13/08/2017, 11:10pm)
A Fight For Death? Or A Fight For Life?
Raging Elements
The Shift
All For What?!
Amethyst Deep in Thought
Amethyst's Rage
Surrounded
by a protective circle of 12 white ceremonial candles, in a secret
cavern in the middle of the Earth, Amethyst sits cross-legged
and alone...
She can feel the others writhing around inside of her and she knows it is almost time again...
It wont be long now and they will all come raging and screaming out of her, causing untold damage to the body, maybe evendeath... Unless she is able to successfully limit the fallout...
She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes and prepares to do battle...
And so it begins...
First comes the primal scream... Rage... Hate... Fear... Pain... Her arms are thrown wide... Her head is thrust back... And her eyes flywide open as the scream forces its way out of her now open mouth... A seemingly endless scream that leaves her no time to draw breath...
All of those who scream clamour to be heard before the body is no longer able to sustain hosting such an intense outpouring...
Passing out from exhaustion and a lack of oxygen, the body falls backward onto the floor... Its eyes still open in shock... And the firstcandle begins to flicker... But Amethyst is not suprised... It always begins with the scream...
During the body's time of exhausted paralysis, the others begin to argue amongst themselves as to the best and most important ways to find their way into the outside world... And reality...
One argues for cutting... A perfect way to get the poison out of the bloodstream... And how beautiful the site of a fresh and unending flow of pure... red... liquid... coming from the very veins that sustain the life of the body that keeps them all prisoner within its tortured mind...
Another advocates wanton destruction of all the body can get its hands on... Afterall, its not their fault that the body and its mind have suffered the way it has... It was his fault... And his... And his... And his... And hers... The fingerpointing goes on and on and on, further feeding the growing rage inside...
Stop!... Demands Amethyst from her covetted place at the helm... We must be intelligent about this if we are all to be heard and satisfied...
The others grudgingly acknowledge the sensibility of what she has commanded and wait to hear what she has in mind... While those who advocated wanton destruction obediently fall silent, halting the growing sense of frenzied abandon...
They allow still others to be heard...
Pills... Take the pills... Whisper those who prioritise and crave not vengance but an end to the suffering... Lets just take the pills...Quickly... Quickly... Lets not think... Lets just take the pretty little pills... All of the pain and noise will finally cease... We could restthen... Maybe even forever...
No!... commands Amethyst once more... If we are all to be avenged, the pills must come last, not first... We need the body functional long enough to serve us all...
There is a murmering among the gathered masses and once more the cold, hard, logic of Amethyst, Queen Amethyst, cannot be denied...
Another faction and its representative steps forth...
Spew it all out in the journal first... Cut down all who would profess to give a damn... Hiss those who keep the records... There must be a record for it to be real... And what better way to ensure success than to alienate any who might come to her aide...
Amethyst stops and considers this latest suggestion... Yes... She decrees... There must be a record... A record to teach others... A record to damn those who have defiled us... A record to alienate and protect... A record to explain... And a record to make it all REAL...
BEGIN! She cries...
And so begins the making of the record while the others struggle to be heard above one another and vie for a place in the order of destruction...
Out of nowhere the body is picked up and thrown against the walls in the cave... First the back wall... And then the arm is sliced open as the body is thrown against yet another wall with a protruding razor sharp, rocky outcrop... Again and again the body is hurled into the walls... Large black bruises forming instantly... But not a sound is heard... Not a single cry of pain... For the body is all butcompletely comatose and numb by now in preparation for what is still to come...
Amethyst, taken by suprise, watches on almost completely devoid of emotion... She had known the random violence to the body had been coming, she just didnt know when... The random violence never announced its arrival nor argued for its place in the order of things... It was a much simpler entity... It simply was...
The outburst over, Amethyst drags the unconscious body back into the protective circle of candles and continues to preside over the resulting outraged masses...
Silence... She demands... What is done is done... Without order, none of us will get what we want...
But it is too late...
Those who cut have smashed yet another glass and are in the process of carving their pain and rage into every unscarred section of the body... Blood begins to flow and a screaming cheer goes up from the crowd...
While the cutting goes on unabated, the eyes of the body are drawn to the bottles of barbituates sitting just out of reach, beyond the protective circle... The hand reaches out and plucks out 4 of the tiny pink pills and a large white one just for good measure...
Another two candles are snuffed out...
Candle after candle is being blown out by faction after faction, as they all struggle to take control of the body long enough to exact theirown brand of vengance... Of rage... Of screaming... Of burning, pain...
Amethyst does little or nothing to stop them now... There is no point... Chaos is upon them and there is nothing more she can do now but to wait for one of two outcomes... Either the factions will become sated enough to begin to see sense again and order will be restored... Or the body will no longer be able to withstand the force and nature of so many simultanious attacks and it will simply die... Meaning an end for them all...
No more suffering... No more pain... No more anything...
Amethyst finds herself feeling strangely sedated as she begins slipping in and out of daydreams about finally being free... While on theoutside, the body is now being cut and hurled around the room in desperation before the barbituates sedate it into nothingness... From somewhere, a wooden baseball bat is found and the body, under the direction of one of the warring factions, is now swinging it at the walls and at the candles and at itself...
*Crack!*... The baseball bat swings against the body's shin and breaks it clean in two... The body falls to the floor and passes out from shock, barbituates, and pain...
Still more candles are blown out from the rush of air as the body rushes groundward...
Everywhere is screaming and violence... Stories of abuse are being screamed... Profanities... Cries for help... They use the body and its voice and anything else they are able to utilise... For, all now know that the end is dangerously near and that that means they are in danger of being silenced forever, before they have the chance to make themselves heard...
With only two candles left burning, and the body dangerously near death, the factions quieten and withdraw until there is silence inside and all around...
Two candles... They have never managed to take the body so close to death before... Amethyst realises, with a growning sense of fearful assuredness, that next time, they just might make it... Next time, there might be no candles left and it just might mean the endfor them all...
She fights to ascertain how she really feels about this... She had thought she would have been feeling relief... How many times had the body suffered at her hands? How many times had she tried to obliterate them all over the years, and without success? Yet here she was, confused about whether or not she now wanted the body, and all of them to survive...
A single tear traces a searing white-hot path down the ice-cold tundra of her face... She holds out her hand to catch it... And as it falls off of the bottom of her jawline, she finds what now sits in her hand is no longer a tear, but a tiny, and perfect, diamond...
She does nothing but stare at the tiny, perfect diamond until she can remember almost nothing of the melee` that preceded this bittersweet world of silence and sadness...
The body remains silent, unconscious and still for days after all of the madness has passed... But it survives... Once again, it survives...
She can feel the others writhing around inside of her and she knows it is almost time again...
It wont be long now and they will all come raging and screaming out of her, causing untold damage to the body, maybe evendeath... Unless she is able to successfully limit the fallout...
She takes a deep breath, closes her eyes and prepares to do battle...
And so it begins...
First comes the primal scream... Rage... Hate... Fear... Pain... Her arms are thrown wide... Her head is thrust back... And her eyes flywide open as the scream forces its way out of her now open mouth... A seemingly endless scream that leaves her no time to draw breath...
All of those who scream clamour to be heard before the body is no longer able to sustain hosting such an intense outpouring...
Passing out from exhaustion and a lack of oxygen, the body falls backward onto the floor... Its eyes still open in shock... And the firstcandle begins to flicker... But Amethyst is not suprised... It always begins with the scream...
During the body's time of exhausted paralysis, the others begin to argue amongst themselves as to the best and most important ways to find their way into the outside world... And reality...
One argues for cutting... A perfect way to get the poison out of the bloodstream... And how beautiful the site of a fresh and unending flow of pure... red... liquid... coming from the very veins that sustain the life of the body that keeps them all prisoner within its tortured mind...
Another advocates wanton destruction of all the body can get its hands on... Afterall, its not their fault that the body and its mind have suffered the way it has... It was his fault... And his... And his... And his... And hers... The fingerpointing goes on and on and on, further feeding the growing rage inside...
Stop!... Demands Amethyst from her covetted place at the helm... We must be intelligent about this if we are all to be heard and satisfied...
The others grudgingly acknowledge the sensibility of what she has commanded and wait to hear what she has in mind... While those who advocated wanton destruction obediently fall silent, halting the growing sense of frenzied abandon...
They allow still others to be heard...
Pills... Take the pills... Whisper those who prioritise and crave not vengance but an end to the suffering... Lets just take the pills...Quickly... Quickly... Lets not think... Lets just take the pretty little pills... All of the pain and noise will finally cease... We could restthen... Maybe even forever...
No!... commands Amethyst once more... If we are all to be avenged, the pills must come last, not first... We need the body functional long enough to serve us all...
There is a murmering among the gathered masses and once more the cold, hard, logic of Amethyst, Queen Amethyst, cannot be denied...
Another faction and its representative steps forth...
Spew it all out in the journal first... Cut down all who would profess to give a damn... Hiss those who keep the records... There must be a record for it to be real... And what better way to ensure success than to alienate any who might come to her aide...
Amethyst stops and considers this latest suggestion... Yes... She decrees... There must be a record... A record to teach others... A record to damn those who have defiled us... A record to alienate and protect... A record to explain... And a record to make it all REAL...
BEGIN! She cries...
And so begins the making of the record while the others struggle to be heard above one another and vie for a place in the order of destruction...
Out of nowhere the body is picked up and thrown against the walls in the cave... First the back wall... And then the arm is sliced open as the body is thrown against yet another wall with a protruding razor sharp, rocky outcrop... Again and again the body is hurled into the walls... Large black bruises forming instantly... But not a sound is heard... Not a single cry of pain... For the body is all butcompletely comatose and numb by now in preparation for what is still to come...
Amethyst, taken by suprise, watches on almost completely devoid of emotion... She had known the random violence to the body had been coming, she just didnt know when... The random violence never announced its arrival nor argued for its place in the order of things... It was a much simpler entity... It simply was...
The outburst over, Amethyst drags the unconscious body back into the protective circle of candles and continues to preside over the resulting outraged masses...
Silence... She demands... What is done is done... Without order, none of us will get what we want...
But it is too late...
Those who cut have smashed yet another glass and are in the process of carving their pain and rage into every unscarred section of the body... Blood begins to flow and a screaming cheer goes up from the crowd...
While the cutting goes on unabated, the eyes of the body are drawn to the bottles of barbituates sitting just out of reach, beyond the protective circle... The hand reaches out and plucks out 4 of the tiny pink pills and a large white one just for good measure...
Another two candles are snuffed out...
Candle after candle is being blown out by faction after faction, as they all struggle to take control of the body long enough to exact theirown brand of vengance... Of rage... Of screaming... Of burning, pain...
Amethyst does little or nothing to stop them now... There is no point... Chaos is upon them and there is nothing more she can do now but to wait for one of two outcomes... Either the factions will become sated enough to begin to see sense again and order will be restored... Or the body will no longer be able to withstand the force and nature of so many simultanious attacks and it will simply die... Meaning an end for them all...
No more suffering... No more pain... No more anything...
Amethyst finds herself feeling strangely sedated as she begins slipping in and out of daydreams about finally being free... While on theoutside, the body is now being cut and hurled around the room in desperation before the barbituates sedate it into nothingness... From somewhere, a wooden baseball bat is found and the body, under the direction of one of the warring factions, is now swinging it at the walls and at the candles and at itself...
*Crack!*... The baseball bat swings against the body's shin and breaks it clean in two... The body falls to the floor and passes out from shock, barbituates, and pain...
Still more candles are blown out from the rush of air as the body rushes groundward...
Everywhere is screaming and violence... Stories of abuse are being screamed... Profanities... Cries for help... They use the body and its voice and anything else they are able to utilise... For, all now know that the end is dangerously near and that that means they are in danger of being silenced forever, before they have the chance to make themselves heard...
With only two candles left burning, and the body dangerously near death, the factions quieten and withdraw until there is silence inside and all around...
Two candles... They have never managed to take the body so close to death before... Amethyst realises, with a growning sense of fearful assuredness, that next time, they just might make it... Next time, there might be no candles left and it just might mean the endfor them all...
She fights to ascertain how she really feels about this... She had thought she would have been feeling relief... How many times had the body suffered at her hands? How many times had she tried to obliterate them all over the years, and without success? Yet here she was, confused about whether or not she now wanted the body, and all of them to survive...
A single tear traces a searing white-hot path down the ice-cold tundra of her face... She holds out her hand to catch it... And as it falls off of the bottom of her jawline, she finds what now sits in her hand is no longer a tear, but a tiny, and perfect, diamond...
She does nothing but stare at the tiny, perfect diamond until she can remember almost nothing of the melee` that preceded this bittersweet world of silence and sadness...
The body remains silent, unconscious and still for days after all of the madness has passed... But it survives... Once again, it survives...
The
Earth heaves and spews forth molten lava... Its wretching causes huge
cracks to appear and all that was once solid becomes almost fluid in its
motion... Everywhere buildings and man-made roads are exploding and
shattering... Whole mountains are coming apart... Both in pieces and in
massive explosions... There is debris flying everywhere...
The wind howls its rage at the world... Shredding and tearing apart anything and everything in its path...
Rain smashes angrily down onto the surface of the Earth, pitting it and causing it to cry out in pain... The oceans are in an uproar... Their waves crash heavily onto the shores of the Earth... They do not surge forth and drown all of the living but their violence is no less relevant or felt...
At some point the wind and rain combine to form a mist of tiny icy spears that fly through the air, piercing anything in their path... Cries of pain are heard everywhere...
Lightening streaks across the sky leaving trails of fire in its wake... Thunder rolls and the air is filled with a buzzing electricity...
Everywhere is chaos and mayhem as the elements converge on the Earth and vent their rage...
The wind howls its rage at the world... Shredding and tearing apart anything and everything in its path...
Rain smashes angrily down onto the surface of the Earth, pitting it and causing it to cry out in pain... The oceans are in an uproar... Their waves crash heavily onto the shores of the Earth... They do not surge forth and drown all of the living but their violence is no less relevant or felt...
At some point the wind and rain combine to form a mist of tiny icy spears that fly through the air, piercing anything in their path... Cries of pain are heard everywhere...
Lightening streaks across the sky leaving trails of fire in its wake... Thunder rolls and the air is filled with a buzzing electricity...
Everywhere is chaos and mayhem as the elements converge on the Earth and vent their rage...
It had been a long day...
A very long day... Violet, Amethyst and Jade slumped in the chair and all hoped there wouldnt be any clients before the end of shift... At least not for them anyway...
Yesterday had been chaotic... The range of emotions intense and extreme... It had taken a lot out of all of them... Even Amethyst...
The day had begun normally enough... But then had come the little sister with her dvd... She had showed them all how real the pain was... She had cut through everything before anyone had had the chance to brace against it... She had loved them...
Inside, Amethyts had screamed... Violet had watched in silence as the pain of what she did for a living had been captured on film and paraded across the screen... She wasnt sure if she felt more relieved at being validated or horrified and hurt at seeing the truth so undeniably real before her... Jade watched... Shellshocked... And the child Alisa cried tears that would never run dry whether she cried for a million years or for only a moment...
Amelis had hovered in the background, struggling to remain detached enough from it all to maintain her logical therapist-like self...Someone had to be there for them all when the whole world came crashing down... When the pain got too much... And the screaming from that pain got too loud for any of them to bear anymore... But that film had almost been the end of that safety net for all of them... The words... The music... The sight of their pain... So real... So deep... And so very potentially lethal...
Amelis sighed... It was only another 2 hours until the end of shift and there were functions on in the city that seemed to have kept all the usual clientelle busy instead of coming inhouse... The other girls were bitching about the heat and Christmas functions slowing business down but Amelis sat there relieved and grateful that for once, fate seemed to be on their side...
Soon she would go and get ready to leave this world behind... Next, she had to brace them all to step into their BDSM world... She inhaled slowly and deeply... Later tonight, they would walk in on the arm of their Master... A submissive...
Amethyst moved uncomfortably in her chair... She wanted to play tonight... She wanted to play with all the silly little mortal boys and their silly little mortal girls who would be there worshipping His darling 'lil jade'... She wanted to devour them... She wanted to teach them all a lesson... A lesson none of them would ever forget...
They all thought she was so beautiful... So enigmatic... So perfect... There wasnt one of them that didnt want to play with her... But if they were honest, they would be forced to admit to themselves that what they really wanted was to fuck her...
Amethyst spat out the word fuck like it was the filthiest, most despicable word she had ever heard... At this moment, she felt nothing but contempt for them all... Those stupid, stupid little people... They seemed to think that even by simply being in her presence they were somehow made greater... Not one of them realised that they could be all she was if they only made an effort... What she had was style and class... She had presence because she didnt share their desperation for recognition and acceptance... She didnt need it the way they did... She didnt need anything or anyone...
And it was that that none of them understood...
Their need made them weak... It stank... Dripping off of them... Filling her nostrils with its nauseating stench...
Amethyst decided it was time to disappear before it was too late and She embarrassed their Master... She loved Him and although He wasnt Her Master the way He was theirs, She still respected Him on a very deep level... And that meant keeping Her mouth shut and Her ideas and opinions to Herself sometimes... She didnt mind too much though... He had earned Her respect... He heard Her when no-one else had... He listened... And He took Her seriously... That was worth something... So if Her silence in the face of their mediocrity and their shameless mindless drooling was what He wanted, Her silence and well mannered behaviour was what He would get...
She could play nice just as well as anyone... Besides, they often played games with the mortals together... Games that were so subtle none of them had a hope in Hell of even coming close to understanding... Nor the hidden meanings behind the secret smiles they frequently exchanged... Both of them posessed intellegence and wit beyond the intellegence and wit the mortals required to exist in their silly little world...
So although they made Her skin crawl... And although She wanted to tell them all exactly what She thought of their simplistic, carnal, base existence... And their selfish, shameless questing for sexual gratification no matter what the cost to the object of their lust... She would remain silent... And She would behave... She would allow His soft, perfect 'lil jade' submissive to rise to the surface and remain in ascendance without challenging her... Unless one of them tried to touch her...
That was Her gift to Him...
A very long day... Violet, Amethyst and Jade slumped in the chair and all hoped there wouldnt be any clients before the end of shift... At least not for them anyway...
Yesterday had been chaotic... The range of emotions intense and extreme... It had taken a lot out of all of them... Even Amethyst...
The day had begun normally enough... But then had come the little sister with her dvd... She had showed them all how real the pain was... She had cut through everything before anyone had had the chance to brace against it... She had loved them...
Inside, Amethyts had screamed... Violet had watched in silence as the pain of what she did for a living had been captured on film and paraded across the screen... She wasnt sure if she felt more relieved at being validated or horrified and hurt at seeing the truth so undeniably real before her... Jade watched... Shellshocked... And the child Alisa cried tears that would never run dry whether she cried for a million years or for only a moment...
Amelis had hovered in the background, struggling to remain detached enough from it all to maintain her logical therapist-like self...Someone had to be there for them all when the whole world came crashing down... When the pain got too much... And the screaming from that pain got too loud for any of them to bear anymore... But that film had almost been the end of that safety net for all of them... The words... The music... The sight of their pain... So real... So deep... And so very potentially lethal...
Amelis sighed... It was only another 2 hours until the end of shift and there were functions on in the city that seemed to have kept all the usual clientelle busy instead of coming inhouse... The other girls were bitching about the heat and Christmas functions slowing business down but Amelis sat there relieved and grateful that for once, fate seemed to be on their side...
Soon she would go and get ready to leave this world behind... Next, she had to brace them all to step into their BDSM world... She inhaled slowly and deeply... Later tonight, they would walk in on the arm of their Master... A submissive...
Amethyst moved uncomfortably in her chair... She wanted to play tonight... She wanted to play with all the silly little mortal boys and their silly little mortal girls who would be there worshipping His darling 'lil jade'... She wanted to devour them... She wanted to teach them all a lesson... A lesson none of them would ever forget...
They all thought she was so beautiful... So enigmatic... So perfect... There wasnt one of them that didnt want to play with her... But if they were honest, they would be forced to admit to themselves that what they really wanted was to fuck her...
Amethyst spat out the word fuck like it was the filthiest, most despicable word she had ever heard... At this moment, she felt nothing but contempt for them all... Those stupid, stupid little people... They seemed to think that even by simply being in her presence they were somehow made greater... Not one of them realised that they could be all she was if they only made an effort... What she had was style and class... She had presence because she didnt share their desperation for recognition and acceptance... She didnt need it the way they did... She didnt need anything or anyone...
And it was that that none of them understood...
Their need made them weak... It stank... Dripping off of them... Filling her nostrils with its nauseating stench...
Amethyst decided it was time to disappear before it was too late and She embarrassed their Master... She loved Him and although He wasnt Her Master the way He was theirs, She still respected Him on a very deep level... And that meant keeping Her mouth shut and Her ideas and opinions to Herself sometimes... She didnt mind too much though... He had earned Her respect... He heard Her when no-one else had... He listened... And He took Her seriously... That was worth something... So if Her silence in the face of their mediocrity and their shameless mindless drooling was what He wanted, Her silence and well mannered behaviour was what He would get...
She could play nice just as well as anyone... Besides, they often played games with the mortals together... Games that were so subtle none of them had a hope in Hell of even coming close to understanding... Nor the hidden meanings behind the secret smiles they frequently exchanged... Both of them posessed intellegence and wit beyond the intellegence and wit the mortals required to exist in their silly little world...
So although they made Her skin crawl... And although She wanted to tell them all exactly what She thought of their simplistic, carnal, base existence... And their selfish, shameless questing for sexual gratification no matter what the cost to the object of their lust... She would remain silent... And She would behave... She would allow His soft, perfect 'lil jade' submissive to rise to the surface and remain in ascendance without challenging her... Unless one of them tried to touch her...
That was Her gift to Him...
Absolutely fuming and completely disconnected, Amethyst stalks around her cave looking for something to dessimate...
She rails inside, against the One who would attempt to collar her... Rails against His rules and His self-appointed 'Leadership'... Ok, so maybe not completely self-appointed... She knows this was something the Little Girl wanted... And some of the Others too... But not her...
Not until He had tricked her anyway...
Promises of 'Power'... And 'Vengence'... And 'Forever'... And an end to the screaming inside... So she gave Him what He demanded... She put the broken glass away... And she didnt drive them so hard to cut anymore... And she made Violet quit working... Sheswallowed her pride... And she let them ask for help... At one point she even surrendered to Him... She even stopped tormenting the Mother long enough to allow her to send her children somewhere safe...
And for what?!
Just so He could push her harder and closer to the edge all on His own... Just so He could use her to lure in His prey... Just so He could make her watch Him and his bitches (she spat out the word 'bitches') fucking right in front of her... Just so He could soothe His burning guilt by making her a part of it!
'Well... FUCK YOU!' she screamed into the empty darkness that surrounded her... 'FUCK YOU and ALL Your pathetic little bitches!'... She spat the words out with contempt...
His declarations of love meant NOTHING... Not when He could so easily flaunt His hunting and His prey in front of her... Not when He kept on at her about doing the one thing that would tear her apart... And all to assauge that guilty conscience of His!
He was so weak! And He was stupid too if He thought for even one moment that she couldnt see right through Him...
She thought about ending it... But something was holding her back... Not by much... But there was something... So rail as she might, the time just wasnt right yet...
She would wait...
She rails inside, against the One who would attempt to collar her... Rails against His rules and His self-appointed 'Leadership'... Ok, so maybe not completely self-appointed... She knows this was something the Little Girl wanted... And some of the Others too... But not her...
Not until He had tricked her anyway...
Promises of 'Power'... And 'Vengence'... And 'Forever'... And an end to the screaming inside... So she gave Him what He demanded... She put the broken glass away... And she didnt drive them so hard to cut anymore... And she made Violet quit working... Sheswallowed her pride... And she let them ask for help... At one point she even surrendered to Him... She even stopped tormenting the Mother long enough to allow her to send her children somewhere safe...
And for what?!
Just so He could push her harder and closer to the edge all on His own... Just so He could use her to lure in His prey... Just so He could make her watch Him and his bitches (she spat out the word 'bitches') fucking right in front of her... Just so He could soothe His burning guilt by making her a part of it!
'Well... FUCK YOU!' she screamed into the empty darkness that surrounded her... 'FUCK YOU and ALL Your pathetic little bitches!'... She spat the words out with contempt...
His declarations of love meant NOTHING... Not when He could so easily flaunt His hunting and His prey in front of her... Not when He kept on at her about doing the one thing that would tear her apart... And all to assauge that guilty conscience of His!
He was so weak! And He was stupid too if He thought for even one moment that she couldnt see right through Him...
She thought about ending it... But something was holding her back... Not by much... But there was something... So rail as she might, the time just wasnt right yet...
She would wait...
Amethyst walks alone and barefooted through the snow and ice...
She hardly notices it burning the soles of her feet... She is dressed in a long flowing medi-eval stlyed dress and wears a long, black, hooded, velvet cloak over the top... She is warm enough... Only her feet are left exposed... She is unsure of why... But reasons ceased to matter a long time ago...
The snowfall is unseasonal... It is the middle of October and for weeks now, daytime temperatures have hovered in the mid-high 20's... Occassionally even reaching 30... But overnight, the heavens saw fit to open and blanketed everything in crisp, white snow and ice while the world slept... While no-one was there to be able to do anything about it....
Amethyst doesnt care though... The weather on the outside is of little concern to her... Its the storms on the inside that really matter... She does concede, however, that it is nice not to be at odds with the weather for once... Not to have to feel quite so 'at war' witheverything... And to finally be able to see her handiwork... To finally have something from the inside make it into the outside world... And in doing so, become undeniably real...
For many years now, she had been biding her time and growing in strength and determination... She had been honing her skills... Focussing her rage and plotting her end-game meticulously... She had been waiting for all of the others to burn out, fighting their good fight... She waited patiently for them to come around to her way of thinking... Or at the very least, exhaust themselves and all of their options so that all they had left was her....
She had wasted altogether too much precious time and energy fighting them over the years... Until she came to the realisation one day that it was completely pointless... Her fighting them... Them fighting her... It was just a vicious cycle that kept repeating itself over and over and over again... And what was the point? Neither side had any hope of winning... And all it resulted in was just another epic battle fought for undefined causes... A battle which only resulted in heavy casualties on all sides...
A battle nobody ever won... Or ever would win all the time they were all just as strong as each other and all just as determined....
No... Better to let them burn themselves out fighting valiantly for their Cause... At least then, when she finally did play her hand, she wouldnt have to put up with their hyperactive consciences... Or their righteous cries for mercy and peace and unconditional love for a world that had brough all of them, including her, nothing but pain...
Besides, all that pointless fighting made her head hurt...
With her head lowered, she continued to walk in a straight line, against the wind... She walked, watching her feet as they sank into the compressed snow beneath them... And was mildly suprised that she couldnt feel the burn of the freezing cold ice on her exposed skin... But by now she had almost grown used to it... Years ago she had decided to banish pain and only experience it on her own terms...
It was the way it had to be...
Pain gave you something to lose... Pain made you falliable... Pain meant they could get to you and break you...
Pain made you weak...
And if there was one thing Amethyst wasnt, it was weak!
She hardly notices it burning the soles of her feet... She is dressed in a long flowing medi-eval stlyed dress and wears a long, black, hooded, velvet cloak over the top... She is warm enough... Only her feet are left exposed... She is unsure of why... But reasons ceased to matter a long time ago...
The snowfall is unseasonal... It is the middle of October and for weeks now, daytime temperatures have hovered in the mid-high 20's... Occassionally even reaching 30... But overnight, the heavens saw fit to open and blanketed everything in crisp, white snow and ice while the world slept... While no-one was there to be able to do anything about it....
Amethyst doesnt care though... The weather on the outside is of little concern to her... Its the storms on the inside that really matter... She does concede, however, that it is nice not to be at odds with the weather for once... Not to have to feel quite so 'at war' witheverything... And to finally be able to see her handiwork... To finally have something from the inside make it into the outside world... And in doing so, become undeniably real...
For many years now, she had been biding her time and growing in strength and determination... She had been honing her skills... Focussing her rage and plotting her end-game meticulously... She had been waiting for all of the others to burn out, fighting their good fight... She waited patiently for them to come around to her way of thinking... Or at the very least, exhaust themselves and all of their options so that all they had left was her....
She had wasted altogether too much precious time and energy fighting them over the years... Until she came to the realisation one day that it was completely pointless... Her fighting them... Them fighting her... It was just a vicious cycle that kept repeating itself over and over and over again... And what was the point? Neither side had any hope of winning... And all it resulted in was just another epic battle fought for undefined causes... A battle which only resulted in heavy casualties on all sides...
A battle nobody ever won... Or ever would win all the time they were all just as strong as each other and all just as determined....
No... Better to let them burn themselves out fighting valiantly for their Cause... At least then, when she finally did play her hand, she wouldnt have to put up with their hyperactive consciences... Or their righteous cries for mercy and peace and unconditional love for a world that had brough all of them, including her, nothing but pain...
Besides, all that pointless fighting made her head hurt...
With her head lowered, she continued to walk in a straight line, against the wind... She walked, watching her feet as they sank into the compressed snow beneath them... And was mildly suprised that she couldnt feel the burn of the freezing cold ice on her exposed skin... But by now she had almost grown used to it... Years ago she had decided to banish pain and only experience it on her own terms...
It was the way it had to be...
Pain gave you something to lose... Pain made you falliable... Pain meant they could get to you and break you...
Pain made you weak...
And if there was one thing Amethyst wasnt, it was weak!
Loki sits in his chair, one leg crossed over the other, his hands templed beneath his chin...
With his eyes lowered, he is deep in thought... he looks up occasionally at Amethyst and keeps a protective eye on the little girl cowering in the corner of the cave-like room...
Amethyst paces restlessly, plotting and planning... There is almost a desperate frenzied quality about her movements... But she is determined and focussed... And her eyes never leave an invisible point in the air in front of her... They almost seem to bore a hole right through it... She feels her position has been compromised and she is furious... She is out for blood and someone is going to pay... Unsure of whether or not she will be able to touch the outside world with her rage, she narrows her eyes, bares her teeth slightly, and glowers at the little girl in the corner of the room... This action ellicits an immediate warning growl from Loki... She glares back at him momentarily, daring him to challenge her, but her glare is only half-hearted... They both know she will yield to his will but he allows her her show of defiance anyway... He does not wish to break her and he knows the little girl is perfectly safe under the protection of his watchful eye...
Sitting on the floor, holding her knees up against her chest and rocking gently is the little girl... Alisa...
Alisa is afraid... She knows Amethyst can see her and recognise her... She knows Amethyst knows her for who she is... She is afraid of Amethyst but used to her abuse... It is Loki she really fears... She fears he will smell her on the shell of his beloved lil jade... A shell she is only just able to hold onto right now... She fears he will call her out and hold her accountable for what has come before... She fears he will judge her as the grown up she should really be by now... She fears the rage she knows will be unleashed when he finds her and is able to see her... Because she knows he will be furious about what she has allowed to happen to his lil jade and Amethyst and all of them... She knows it was her fault...
lil jade fades in and out... She is exhausted and fighting to stay but the storm outside is so loud and frightening... And there is this strangely familiar dragging sensation that keeps pulling at her before everything goes black again... She wants to cry out to Loki... Or even Amethyst, despite her present rage... But she is rendered mute... She is cursed once again... Being limited to only observing... One of the worst tortures... And yet... Sometimes, one of the most welcome blessings...
lil jade knows that Amethyst can see her and Alisa... She cannot quite understand why it is that she is showing Alisa such mercy right now, considering her rage... But she is not willing to try too hard to cry out and break the spell because Alisa's suffering could also well result in her own... There would be no guarantee Alisa would stick around to see out her punishment... She could very easily findherself abandoned to face it all alone... it wouldnt be the first time either... There had been many times when Amethyst had done the same thing to her too... The others could never be relied upon with any certainty, no matter how loudly you screamed or how desperately you needed them...
No, better to let this one play itself out...
The storm rages on... Lightening flashes a warning across the sky only seconds before thunderclaps resonate so loudly that they shake even the very belly of the Earth where the four have taken temporary refuge...
Alisa re-emerges and casts a furtive glance Loki's way in the hope of reading his mood... As always he is almost completely un-readable to her... She wonders briefly whether or not it is worth taking the risk and rousing him from his thoughts by revealing herself... She wonders if his rage would not possibly be a quick, although terrifying and painful, end to her suffering... She wonders if it would be better than going on the way she has been all these years... Suffering Amethyst's abuse... Being the cause of more pain to all of them... Keeping them all trapped back where she is... Back in the body of the little girl that he destroyed... Keeping them all trapped, in one way or another, back where all of the pain began...
For reasons she is not yet able to define, she stops just short of drawing his attention and slips back underneath the surface, hoping that lil jade has the good sense not to out her and thereby damn herself to whatever fallout comes as a result... She doesnt ask her to stay silent however, because she will not ask lil jade to betray her Master like that... She knows lil jade loves her Master dearly and she refuses to poison that with any of the poison from the life before lil jade was brought forth...
lil jade, afterall, is their only hope in this world now...
With his eyes lowered, he is deep in thought... he looks up occasionally at Amethyst and keeps a protective eye on the little girl cowering in the corner of the cave-like room...
Amethyst paces restlessly, plotting and planning... There is almost a desperate frenzied quality about her movements... But she is determined and focussed... And her eyes never leave an invisible point in the air in front of her... They almost seem to bore a hole right through it... She feels her position has been compromised and she is furious... She is out for blood and someone is going to pay... Unsure of whether or not she will be able to touch the outside world with her rage, she narrows her eyes, bares her teeth slightly, and glowers at the little girl in the corner of the room... This action ellicits an immediate warning growl from Loki... She glares back at him momentarily, daring him to challenge her, but her glare is only half-hearted... They both know she will yield to his will but he allows her her show of defiance anyway... He does not wish to break her and he knows the little girl is perfectly safe under the protection of his watchful eye...
Sitting on the floor, holding her knees up against her chest and rocking gently is the little girl... Alisa...
Alisa is afraid... She knows Amethyst can see her and recognise her... She knows Amethyst knows her for who she is... She is afraid of Amethyst but used to her abuse... It is Loki she really fears... She fears he will smell her on the shell of his beloved lil jade... A shell she is only just able to hold onto right now... She fears he will call her out and hold her accountable for what has come before... She fears he will judge her as the grown up she should really be by now... She fears the rage she knows will be unleashed when he finds her and is able to see her... Because she knows he will be furious about what she has allowed to happen to his lil jade and Amethyst and all of them... She knows it was her fault...
lil jade fades in and out... She is exhausted and fighting to stay but the storm outside is so loud and frightening... And there is this strangely familiar dragging sensation that keeps pulling at her before everything goes black again... She wants to cry out to Loki... Or even Amethyst, despite her present rage... But she is rendered mute... She is cursed once again... Being limited to only observing... One of the worst tortures... And yet... Sometimes, one of the most welcome blessings...
lil jade knows that Amethyst can see her and Alisa... She cannot quite understand why it is that she is showing Alisa such mercy right now, considering her rage... But she is not willing to try too hard to cry out and break the spell because Alisa's suffering could also well result in her own... There would be no guarantee Alisa would stick around to see out her punishment... She could very easily findherself abandoned to face it all alone... it wouldnt be the first time either... There had been many times when Amethyst had done the same thing to her too... The others could never be relied upon with any certainty, no matter how loudly you screamed or how desperately you needed them...
No, better to let this one play itself out...
The storm rages on... Lightening flashes a warning across the sky only seconds before thunderclaps resonate so loudly that they shake even the very belly of the Earth where the four have taken temporary refuge...
Alisa re-emerges and casts a furtive glance Loki's way in the hope of reading his mood... As always he is almost completely un-readable to her... She wonders briefly whether or not it is worth taking the risk and rousing him from his thoughts by revealing herself... She wonders if his rage would not possibly be a quick, although terrifying and painful, end to her suffering... She wonders if it would be better than going on the way she has been all these years... Suffering Amethyst's abuse... Being the cause of more pain to all of them... Keeping them all trapped back where she is... Back in the body of the little girl that he destroyed... Keeping them all trapped, in one way or another, back where all of the pain began...
For reasons she is not yet able to define, she stops just short of drawing his attention and slips back underneath the surface, hoping that lil jade has the good sense not to out her and thereby damn herself to whatever fallout comes as a result... She doesnt ask her to stay silent however, because she will not ask lil jade to betray her Master like that... She knows lil jade loves her Master dearly and she refuses to poison that with any of the poison from the life before lil jade was brought forth...
lil jade, afterall, is their only hope in this world now...
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