Saying 'Goodbye' again... long after it was said the first time

Switching SUCKS!

Right now, I feel so incredibly guilty about suddenly experiencing a flood of emotions which include loving and deeply missing someone who brought so much pain and heartache and even abuse to my life... 

I may understand how and why these feelings exist... and I may wisely choose NOT to act on them but instead to allow them to just fade away as I eventually switch out again... but it doesn't eradicate the guilt... or the shame

I wish that I could move on from people and situations as the emotionally intelligent, accomplished, hard-working, WHOLE person I truly am... and not only as the parts of who I am who were not created or stuck in that time and place

So yes... a part of Me DOES still love you; the BEAUTIFUL parts of you... NOT the pain and the abuse... And while I still miss you and often feel the deep void your absence has left in my life, I am incredibly grateful that you are unaware of these things and that that keeps me safe from ever finding myself in your arms again...

I wish you hope and healing in YOUR life; a life that I do not want, ever again, to include ANY part of Me...

Goodbye