:'(

Tonight Claire stole custard from me...

:'(

Tonight... I told my children things I never wanted to tell them... ever
(There was more I could have told them and chose not to... but what I told them was more than enough)

Tonight... I broke my little girl's heart :'( :'( :'( :'( ... and it's tearing me apart... I feel like the pain of that is never going to stop...

I had no choice... :'(

She wouldn't listen... no matter how hard I have been trying... no matter how long I have been trying... no matter how many different methods I have been trying...

All I had left was the truth...

And now she is in tears... and probably blaming herself... and hating herself... and she won't stop crying, no matter how hard or how many different ways I try to soothe her (without negating the truth I have just told her)

And for that... I hate myself

But what choice did I have?

There is so much more to all of this than a stupid carton of custard... so much more :'(

It hurts sooooooooo badly :'(

It burns... And it hurts... And it hurts some more... And it burns... And the tears just don't stop... :'(

It hurts more than even the worst sexual assault I have ever been through... :'(

... Because I told my little girl the truth... and it broke her heart... :'(

... Because ultimately... I hurt her :'(