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Tuesday, 8 August 2017

A new dawn approaches at last...

We spent the night together at his house last night; the Boy and I...

Something changed again... in a good way

He seemed to be much more communicative... I'm not sure why... All I know is that I am incredibly grateful and it has resulted in my fragile little flicker of hope being fanned into a small flame that I hope will grow brighter and more stable over time

I am so glad that I chose to make the hard decisions even when the world felt so cold and dark and hopeless and lonely... and I had wanted to run so badly

I am grateful to my two Mums (my actual Mum and her partner) for visiting when they did and for providing me a safe place to talk about everything that was on my mind and driving me crazy...

I am proud of myself and grateful to myself for choosing, once again, not to go back to work...

This relationship is both the safest and the scariest relationship I have ever had... It is real... on every level... and I can't control it no matter how hard my instincts kick in... of that I am terrified... and for that I am grateful

There really just might be real hope and a Life left for Me in this world after all

I watch... and I wait... and I cautiously put one foot in front of the other... and... I move forward into a very different, very real future

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