I had thought for sure that I was well on my way out of this...

And in a lot of respects, I am...

I have a much clearer perspective; now unclouded by his judgements and needs... most of the time

That doesnt change the fact that I keep getting overwhelmed by waves of excruciating pain at having lost the man I apparently love... deeply :'(

I wish I could hold onto being truly okay with what has happened... But Im really not :'(