I am afraid to get out of bed because it makes everything that happened last night... real
My hot throbbing arm... makes it real
My pounding, splitting headache and this and relentless feeling of shame... makes it real
The fact I'm wearing a hospital robe and have a dummy beside Me in bed still.. makes it real
That my friend stayed over last night and is still here... makes it real
The fact that it HAPPENED... makes it real
And all of those things are true whether or not I get up... so what is the big deal in getting up???
I really don't know... It just makes it REAL :'(
I wish he actually loved Me :'( :'( :'( :'(
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