At least none that would come close to expressing anything I am thinking and feeling...
I am in so much pain...
My doctor has given me a letter to take to the emergency department at the hospital and wants me to go straight there... I am so terrified of what they might find that I am intermittently dissociating from the pain completely... On the one hand I can't stop crying... because of the pain... And on the other hand, every time I think about going to hospital, even though I am still crying (from the pain), I feel like a fraud because I have this weird illusion of momentarily (for a matter of seconds, if that, at a time) having no pain... or at least of the sharpness of it having gone away...
I don't know what to do...
I feel so afraid... so confused... and even though I am surrounded by people who would help (if I asked them)... so desperately... alone
I keep wondering if it's really bad enough yet to bother anyone else about...
The fear in my daughters' eyes tells me that it must be...
But for some reason I still can't tell...
Nothing makes sense...
I feel so lost and alone :'(
No comments:
Post a Comment